Thursday, September 24, 2020

Father Lillie asked me to share with you what it is like to care for one’s parents during a pandemic. Here it is – prerequisites on how to be a Shimabukuro caregiver!

Being able to speak loud and clear, raising your voice when necessary and enunciating, and not being embarrassed by what the neighbors hear or think!
Being patient enough to repeat things two, three, four, or five times without going crazy!
Being able to juggle your schedule while you are pulled in numerous directions by your parents, knowing that everyone wants something done now! Or yesterday!
Being able to tell time - a.m. from p.m.!
Being able to be a locksmith when you inadvertently get locked out of the house by your father, because he forgets who you are!
Being able to do numerous household chores: laundry, cleaning, sweeping, sometimes three or more times per day; banking and grocery shopping while explaining to the clerk why you are there numerous times per day!
Being able to answer the telephone calls, differentiating between legitimate and fraudulent phone calls!
Eating dinner at 3:00 p.m.!
Telling your father to stop making breakfast at 10:30 p.m., because he went to bed so early, he woke up before the next day! Then giving in and having breakfast at 11:00 p.m.!
Escaping to the St. Mark’s Thrift Shop for a wonderful dose of sanity with our fabulous volunteers, Michel Reavis and Sandy Leialoha!
Watching online masses when you have a chance for some rejuvenation, enjoying beautiful worship whether it be from St. Mark’s in Honolulu, Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, or Christ Church St. Laurence in Sydney!
Calling Father Paul for when I need a good laugh, hearing stories about what our neighborhood homeless friends are up to on Kapahulu Avenue! (I can’t figure out how Father Paul stays sane!)

This is just the tip of what needs to be done daily, but I would not give up caring for my parents, because it allows me valuable time with them each day. I have learned many things about my relatives and grandparents and our family history, and I am able to thank my parents for all that they have done for me: schooling, music lessons, the purchase of musical instruments, books, computers, and calculators, as well as the trips and traveling that I was able to experience from such a young age.

Being from an Asian family, filial piety was an essential part of our culture, and being the oldest son, it was an obligation. In the Bible we are taught the commandment to honor your father and your mother. Ideally it is not so much an obligation, but a love for your parents.

In some ways life has not changed that much for my parents due to this pandemic. They still enjoy being at home, resting and enjoying their days, venturing out for the occasional medical appointments. Whether we are in a pandemic or not, I am reminded of what is the most important gift to have in life – spending quality time with those we love and continuing to care for those who need our help. Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ, our victorious King, who inspires me to love and care for my parents, and by doing so, love God before all things.

Derrick Shimabukuro