Friday, November 20

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

Looking back on 2020 many years from now, I am sure I will never forget the delicate balance (i.e. horrors) of raising children in a pandemic environment, where parents sometimes work from home and children may not have access to normal daycare facilities. This is especially demanding for a family like ours, with no extended family members on Oahu to lean on for help. The first phase of the pandemic was perhaps the most challenging, with our daycare limited to children of essential workers.

When asked what it was like working from home with two pre-school children, I said that it was sort of like working remotely from a Starbucks, but instead of Starbucks, you went to Chuck E. Cheese. There is a constant background noise of play and the monologue of a four-year old patiently trying to endure a one-year old encroaching on his space and toys. Of course, this is how children learn – through play. They were “at work” the same as we were at work, except most co-workers do not ask you to watch them go to the bathroom or ask you for help when they are done. Mondays were especially demanding (i.e. awful), when Theresa would go into the office to do production work requiring specialized equipment, leaving me alone to work from home with the boys. Fortunately, my teammates at work were graciously understanding and covered for my near-zero productivity on those days. Things got better for us over the summer when they returned to daycare. Since then, I think that the pandemic has been harder on them than on us.

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. – James 1:2-3. (NRSV)

Each of us are the sum of our own unique experiences, and this time of pandemic, which will likely extend to over a year, has been a time of missed experiences for our kids. Alex has said how much he misses Derek, his best friend when the pandemic started. He has not seen him since March. Birthday parties and playdates are no longer a regular thing. Soccer practice and swimming lessons have been on hold since the Spring. Even Halloween was limited to a drive-through “Trick or Treat” experience and visiting a few neighbors who had tables with candy set up outside. Meanwhile. Nathanael has gone from a crawler to full-on walker and learned how to climb out of his crib. (Aghast, I immediately lowered the crib to its lowest setting.) He has not yet experienced some of the things that Alex now misses. It is still surreal to see Alex wearing a tiny mask and talking about “the sickness” - his word for the pandemic expressed in a preschool vocabulary. I think of Nathanael, our former preemie who was hospitalized just over a year ago for a virus (RSV) that affected his lungs to the point he needed breathing assistance and consider how tiny and vulnerable he still is, even if he can now climb onto the coffee table or a kitchen chair and stand upright with a grin (sigh).

Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. – Psalm 127:3 (KJV)

But spending this extended time with them has been a blessing and an opportunity I may not have had otherwise. I look at them and know that raising them to be good people will be my life’s most important work. I love our bedtime hugs, reading to Nathanael and rocking him to sleep while Theresa puts Alex to bed. I live for the times we goof off with them, being a “tickle monster” or chasing them as “Daddy Zombie.” And of course, it’s always something when I hear Alex yell those “three little words” in a singsong voice from down the hall, without which my day could not be complete.

“I’m done poooooping.”

Tim Valadez, Junior Warden