Saturday, September 12, 2020

Did you know that the 19 in COVID-19 stands for the 19 pounds everyone has gained during this pandemic? Someone shared this joke the other day after our online Evening Prayer. It has been a struggle to be active during this pandemic for everyone. Past fitness routines have ended due to the closure of gyms, yoga studios, tennis courts, and more, and even though there are online fitness options, these cannot replace fun workouts with good friends. Even when gyms were allowed to open, many were afraid to go understandably.

When this pandemic started I was searching for a plan to exercise by myself, and I settled on running. I don’t particularly enjoy running, especially by myself, but it seemed like the easiest fitness plan to do. I try to venture out three or four times a week, and there is a loop that I do which includes parts of Waikiki and Kapahulu.

Sometimes I run in the morning, and sometimes I run in the evening, depending on the day’s schedule. However, this last Tuesday I was overdue to be active, but my schedule would not allow for a morning or evening run. I had to venture out at midday. When I see people running at midday, I am perplexed at how they manage the heat and the sun. Nevertheless, I told myself it was now or never, and after covering myself with sunscreen, I began my run at midday.

Immediately I was in a bad mood! Nevertheless, I pressed ahead. I ran down the bike path fronting Date Street, and at ‘Iolani I turned left. I continued running until the entry of Ala Wai Park, and it was there that I met “leaf-blower man.”

During this recent stay-at-home order, the parks have been closed. You could only cross a park if you are going to the ocean. That being said, all throughout these two weeks there had been multiple walkers and runners along the Ala Wai bike path. At the beginning of this second stay-at-home order, I avoided entering the park, but after awhile, having watched all those other people walking or running along the bike path, peer pressure won, and I too ran along the bike path. There were many others like me, getting their exercise while maintaining physical distance. The pandemic orders have often been confusing, and I remember thinking, “maybe you are allowed to run or walk through the park as long as you do not stop or gather in groups.”

Well if there was any question in my mind, leaf-blower man was now before me to set me straight! He whipped out his camera and photographed me running, and he told me that I was breaking the law! I imagined myself being publicly shamed by leaf-blower man on Instagram and Facebook for running all by myself. I would be disciplined for my naughtiness, as obviously I was such a threat to society. For a minute I thought I could have some fun debating this guy, but then I realized that engaging him would slow down my pace. My better judgment prevailed, and I simply said “no problem,” and I reversed my route. (Interestingly enough, a young woman was allowed to pass him on her run, and he just watched her.)

As I adjusted my route, I burned a lot of extra calories with my eye rolling. Sarcastically I thought, “why on earth are we policing the neighborhood priest as he tries to stay healthy by going on a solo run?” Again and again I exclaimed in my mind, “Victimless Crimes!” It didn’t help that earlier that morning I read a Honolulu Star Advertiser article about local kupuna being robbed in their shops during this pandemic. “Forget about the robbers! Let’s go after the runners!” Internally I was my worst enemy at this point, and so I tried to shift my thinking. Maybe this little detour could be beneficial, because it added more mileage to my run, and maybe I could finish in the same amount of time if I increased my pace.

Did I mention how hot it was? Sigh. When I got to the front of the Moana Surfrider hotel, I stopped and walked. Bigger sigh. There is nothing like a hard run on a hot day to make one realize how weak one actually is. My limits had put me in my place, and God was laughing at this whole ordeal of a run, brought with compliments of the heat and leaf-blower man.

And this is when grace was realized. Sometimes it is ok to give up. Sometimes it is ok to stop. Sometimes just starting a run is a success. Sometimes succumbing to annoying people is the wise choice. So I continued to walk through Waikiki, and I realized yet again, it’s really nice to fail at times and enjoy God.

But only for a little bit. Once I realized how the whole run was beyond my control, and that God was in charge, I found myself restarting the run. Before I knew it I was home, energized by a failed run made meaningful by God’s presence.

The beauty of that ridiculous run was the rediscovery of always making God our goal. During this pandemic we may be tempted to keep trying to do pre-pandemic activities with the same expectations of success. The new reality is that most of the time we will have to stop, because in the current context, some things simply cannot happen while others things can never succeed. We still find that we cannot function like we did before. This pandemic is like that moment when I had to stop on my run and rediscover who was ultimately in charge. It was God - not me. As this pandemic grinds on, our work continues to be different. No matter how much determination we might exercise, some things will refuse to take shape and success will not come. We are in a holding pattern, but it is ok, because God is the one holding us during this time, and eventually we will be set free again.

The psalmist states, “For a thousand years in your sight are like yesterday when it is past . . . so teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” (Psalm 90: 4, 12) During that run, the moment of my stopping and walking was a short moment in the context of that midday run. Likewise, this pandemic is a very short season within the span of our lives. At some point, this too shall pass, and we will realize how foolish we were, trying to win against a pandemic. God is always faithful, and God will continue to carry us forward, even when we lack the energy to press on. I guess I should give thanks for leaf-blower man. He was the perfect annoyance on a horrible run within a deplorable pandemic to ultimately provide God’s greater perspective and wisdom.

Blessings,
Father Paul Lillie